Depression
by xxDeadInsidexx
Summary: Will Hermione find a way out of her depression? Drabble series. Extreme AU.
1. To find Peace

She drew the razor.

She dug it deep into her arm.

_'Ease the pain.' _she pleaded.

The scarlet red blood was pouring out of her arm.

She'd done this all year.

She knew where to cut,where it wouldn't hurt her too much.

She'd done this countless times. Everyday, in fact, after lessons were over.

She would climb up the tower stairs, while crying, just to find escape in her room.

To find peace in cutting herself.

**_.xHermionex._**


	2. She knew better

She knew better.

She really did.

She was Head Girl.

People looked up to her.

But she couldn't help herself.

It helped.

It took away the pain she felt.

It gave her something else to think about.

It made her forget.

She was peaceful when she cut.

She had always started cutting angrily and clammed down after pressing deeper.

She was depressed.

She never let anyone see this side of her,the side she despised.

She would look in the mirror when she'd finished and tell herself that she was pathetic.

That she should be stronger.

**_.xHermionex._**


	3. How could she stop herself?

'This sucks.' she thought bitterly.

She ran and locked herself in her personal bathroom.

She started to run the water for her shower.

The blood was still gushing out of her arm.

This wasn't the first time it'd happened.

She sighed.

She knew she had to stop herself, but how?

**_.xHermionex._**


	4. Don't do this

She sobbed.

"I hate this!"

She grabbed the razor from the top drawer beside her bed.

She rolled up her sleeve to revel thin pale scars.

She pressed the blade to her skin.

A drop of blood streamed out.

She pressed harder.

It seemed to ease her pain.

Take her mind off of her life.

She had always been bullied.

For one thing or another.

And it had drove her to this.

To cut herself.

To harm herself physically.

She was already hurt mentally,by the teasing.

She heard the door creak open.

She threw the blade in the drawer,even though it was still bloody.

She pushed her sleeve down.

"Yes?" she asked calmly.

"Are you all right?" the voice did not belong to the person she thought was at her door.

"What do you care,Draco?"

She heard him sigh.

"Hermione,you know I don't tease anyone anymore. And you are my friend. Don't let what they say get to you."

'But it already has!' she thought.

And then she cried.

She never cried in front of him.

Never.

She didn't like to show weakness.

Especially to him.

She felt warm, strong arms come around her.

They comforted her.

She sobbed into his shoulder.

Her sleeve had started to move up.

He saw the traces of blood on her arm.

"Hermione, what have you done?" his voice trembled.

"I can't take it,"she cried,"The bullying is killing me."

He kissed her forehead.

"Please don't do this. I love you,Hermione. I can't bare for you to hurt yourself." he was showing weakness.

"You...you love me?" she said,wiping her eyes.

"Of course I do,you silly girl." he tipped her chin up,to look into her brilliant eyes.

Then he did what anyone else would do.

He kissed her.

**_.xHermione&Dracox._**


	5. Promise

"Promise you won't do it again." he begged.

"I'll try. I will." she sighed.

It would be hard.

That was the way she relieved her stress and sadness.

But she would try.

Maybe she could get better.

Stop cutting herself.

Maybe.

**_.xHermionex._**


	6. Promise Broken

She didn't know how to feel.

She was upset, that was for sure.

She, once again, grabbed her razor.

She had promised him,but that promise was broken.

She'd broken her promise an hour after she'd made it.

He loved her and she new he truly meant it,for he had never said it to anyone else.

She wasn't sure if she loved him.

He had always seemed to hate her, and she had returned that hate.

But now, she wasn't sure.

She'd started to question everything that had ever happened between them.

Did he mean all of those cruel things he'd said to her?

Or had he said it to hide his true feelings?

She supposed she'd never know.

And that thought had made her press the blade harder.

_**.xHermionex.**_


	7. Stand your ground

That was it.

She'd had it.

She ran up to Pansy.

"I hate you!"she screamed.

"I don't care. You are only a filthy Mudblood." Pansy spat.

Tears welled up in Hermione's eyes,but she stood her ground.

"Never. Call. Me. That. Again. Or I will curse you for the rest of your pathetic life."

Pansy's mouth dropped.

Hermione, with her head held high, walked away, knowing that Pansy would not bother her again.

_**.xHermionex.**_


	8. Proud

She sighed.

He was in her room.

She couldn't cut herself yet.

'Crap.'

"Yes, Draco?"

"I saw how you stood up for yourself today. I wanted to tell you that I'm proud of you."

It had been a long time since anyone had told her that.

She faintly smiled.

He noticed.

He gave her a long hug.

When they parted, he sighed and kissed her right cheek.

"I hope you're well,love."

And with that he was gone.

Instead of grabbing her razor, like she had intended, she lied on her bed and fell asleep, thoughts of Draco clouding her mind.

_**.xHermione&Dracox.**_


	9. The fight against depression

The fight against depression is an everyday battle.

Especially when no one notices that your at war with yourself.

Hermione didn't know what to do.

Her friends didn't know, the only one who did was battling his own depression.

What did she do to feel like she was absolutely nothing?

Why didn't she matter as much as everyone else?

Hermione heaved a sigh as she lifted her razor.

No, she told herself.

She slowly put it back down on her desk.

She wouldn't be doing that today.

**_.xHermionex._**


	10. Thankful for your self-destruction

No one knew just how much she loathed herself.

Not a soul knew how much she wanted to change herself.

She wanted to be so much more.

She wanted to be normal.

She never asked for all of the attention.

To be truthful, she detested it.

It was the reason for the bullying.

The reason for the self-harm.

The reason she wanted it all to end.

But it also gave her Draco, who wouldn't have noticed her otherwise.

So in at least one way, she was grateful.

Funny thing isn't it?

To be thankful for your self-destruction.

**_.xHermionex._**


	11. Close to the edge

She was so close to the edge.

Ready to jump off.

To plummet into oblivion

She was so close to the edge.

Ready to jump off.

To plummet into oblivion.

But he grabbed her hand, pulled her back.

"No, you silly girl. You won't be leaving without me."

He kissed her forehead and held her while she cried.

"It'll get better. I'll help you through this."

She nodded, hoping he was right.

_**.xHermione&Dracox.**_


End file.
